GRS 200 Final Exam: Format and Guidelines

This is the handout we got from our teacher... and you wonder why I love this class.

Here it is:

Motivational strategies for taking the GRS 200 exam.

1) Have fun while writing in the exam. "How?" you ask. By finding your inner "happy exam writer." You may not have met this person recently, but, I promise, s/he is there, waiting to be discovered.

2) Have fun in general. Life is short. Soon our atoms will be recomposed into other objects, possibly inert ones. Just ask Lucretius.

3) Do not use the word "fun." It is a repulsively vacous idion, invented by someone intimidated by words with more than three letters, and clearly hoping that one bland, nearly meaningless word might be applied to every situation without need of further thought. E.g., Question: "How was your weekend?" Answer: "Fun." (Some would argue that using "fun" as an adjective in this way adds insult to injury.)

4) While we are airing pet peeves, I might also recommend not turning on the CBC on weekend mornings. They play *&^%$*&^ fiddle music FOR THREE STRAIGHT HOURS! YES, FOR THREE STRAIGHT HOURS! THAT'S LONGER THAN YOUR EXAM, A MERE TWO HOURS! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS NOTICED THIS?!!!??? AND MAY I ADD, STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT A RADIO PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND REDUCES STUDYING EFFICIENCY! WHY IS THIS STILL IN ALL CAPS? IT'S COMPULSIVE! I CAN'T SEEM TO STOP!

5) Don't study for this exam. By studying and doing well you ensure that you will go on to a successful but spiritually unfulfilling career. You will become trapped in the mediocrity of success. FAIL THIS EXAM!

6) Disregard advice in 5). Who needs spiritual fulfillment when there's cash?


can you imagine what the actual class is like? no? picture juggling, costume changes, artistic renderings, nude slides, and you're getting close.
(okay maybe I exaggerate a little, but I swear it was one of the most amusing classes I've taken.)

*he did actually tell us the format of the exam in class. (whew!)